


Soft Soul

by LittleDeath



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Ashley/Chris - Freeform, Emily/Matt - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Jess/Mike - Freeform, Love, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Post Ending, Romance, Self-Harm, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Until Dawn - Freeform, all survived ending, sam/josh washington - Freeform, triggering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 11:22:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5125631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleDeath/pseuds/LittleDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The aftermath of the events of Blackwood Mountain have left Josh and Sam shattered versions of themselves. They turn to each other in their time of need and finally reveal how they have felt for so long, but as Josh's Father uses his sons illness and trauma to make money holding on to their lives become harder than they could ever imagine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rough Skin

It had taken them a week to find Josh in the mines. Screaming, scared, a shattered version of the person he used to be. They’d locked him up in a mental hospital, his frail body bound in a straitjacket and thrown in a padded cell. The Washington’s, desperate not to give up hope on their only remaining child, had tried everything. They had called in the best doctors they could find, tried all the specialists from modern hypnosis to elders from the native Cree tribe but only when an exorcist was brought in did they finally see results. The spirit of the wendigo was, as the exorcist explained, nothing more than a powerful demonic possession which slowly overtook the body until the human aspect became a memory and a flesh prison in which this demon resided in. 

It took three days for the exorcism to work, and another month before Josh was released from the hospital. His parents had arranged a strict diet and a series of long lasting dental appointments to help their son feel like he was in his own body once more. He had twice weekly trips to a therapist and a cornucopia of daily medication to keep not only his body healthy but his mind too. 

After a three weeks of being at home again, Josh decided he wanted to try and seek his friends’ forgiveness. It had been all over the news; the terror of Blackwood Mountain. Jess was the star of it all, the poor girl had been through absolute hell and her heroic story of survival was one that the world couldn’t get enough of. Her and Mike were the American dream couple, beautiful, strong, endearing, everything the country wanted. Josh, on the other hand, was a tale of horror. When they pulled him out of those mines the media couldn’t get enough. His demonic face was everywhere and the tale of the Wendigo was no longer a myth, but fact. It was good for his father though, as the director of numerous horror movies, the money came rolling in and of course he was hired to turn their nightmare into a cinema masterpiece. 

Tensions were tight in the Washington household. His mother was at a loss, staying out with her friends and business associates whilst his father was always on a movie set using his last child to make enough money to keep a country afloat. So after those three weeks of loneliness he sent a reluctant email to his friends. 

Emily and Matt blocked him instantly, like all of the couple they had grown closer from the terrors of that winter night and tucked themselves away from the watching eyes of the world. They had gone to Ivy League universities, Emily studying law and Matt sport science whilst training to become a baseball star which had got him the scholarship he needed to be at university with his other half. 

Jess and Mike were stars now. They had moved to California and there were talks of a reality TV show, or a talk show, or a fashion line, or something that modern stars did. The email went into a long line of fan emails, ignore, and unwanted, like the friendship Josh was desperate to repair. 

Chris and Ashley sent a joint email, apparently as a couple they shared everything now. They wanted to see their friend again, they really did, despite all the terrible things he’d done to them, but they were in the process of moving in together. They were living life to make up for all the time they had lost and after the horrors they had endured they wanted to make their life happen before it could be taken away. It had been three months since they had been saved on that helicopter from the mountains and they were in a more stable relationship than those married for fifty years.  
When Josh was beginning to think all hope was lost he received a reply from the girl who through all of it wanted to be his friend. Sam was the only one besides Josh who had been mentally damaged by the events. She told him how she’d been in and out of hospital, on medication, but she was a tough one, she was a survivor and she would be over at his house the next day.

***

The doorbell rang through the empty mansion where Josh stayed alone. He’d been sat in the foyer waiting for her since he’d woke early in the morning to take his daily medication. 

“Hey,” Sam said with a soft smile as Josh opened the door for her. “How are you feeling?”

Josh couldn’t reply, his eyes filled with tears as he looked at the one person he could rely on. This was an honest smile, not one he had seen for months from his parents and doctors, she was happy to see him. And as he pulled her into a tight hug he realised how much he needed her. 

Sam hugged him tight, her face resting against his neck as she did. They stood like that while the world carried on around them, gently crying as they released all their lost time into the embrace. 

“I’ve missed you.” Sam chocked out as she slowly pulled out of the hug.

“I missed you too.” Josh replied, his hand reaching out to touch her but at the last second he changed his mind and brought it back down to his side. One of the many issues the therapist had abruptly told him was that he needs to respect people’s boundaries and realise that he needed to give people time to adjust to him. 

“Can I come in?” Sam asked, a slight laugh in her voice as she indicated that they were still stood in the doorway of Josh’s home. 

He smiled in response, moving aside to let her in and shutting the door behind them. He didn’t know what to say or what to do. He stood awkwardly looking towards the polished wooden floor. 

Sam noticed his reluctance and reached out, taking his hand in hers and walking towards the staircase towards Josh’s room. She was trying to keep it how it used to be. They’d sit in his room for hours enjoying the company and sometimes not even talking. The presence of each other kept them calm and Josh had truly forgotten how much he missed her just being in the same room as him. 

She threw herself down on Josh’s large bed as they reached his room, letting out a loud sigh. 

“I forgot how comfy an expensive bed is. Hospital cots aren’t exactly the nicest.” Sam reminisced, tapping the space next to her as an invitation for Josh to join her. 

He lay down on his side, looking at her as she wrinkled the nose at the memory. 

“Why were you in there for so long?” Josh asked, the walls falling away between the old friends. 

Sam shut her eyes as she began to talk. “It was…complicated, I guess. Post-traumatic stress on top of all the burns and fractures I had. I didn’t take well to being trapped…”

Her voice went to a whisper as she reached the end of her sentence and she turned to face Josh. She rolled up her sleeve and held her frail, pale arm towards Josh. The feelings of being isolated rushed back towards him as he looked at the red, barely healed scars traversing her skin. He remembered feeling like this. That nothing else mattered, that everything was his fault, that he didn’t deserve to be alive anymore; but he had been bound up in a padded room and the feelings eventually subsided, Sam had not had the same fate. She had been wallowing in her terror, taking the blade to her arm to try and make her forget what had happened. 

Josh traced his fingers over the rough skin, eventually closing his hand around hers and bringing her arm up to his mouth and he gently kissed the scars. 

“You don’t need to do this.” He whispered in between the kisses on her skin. “You did nothing wrong, and I know you were scared and hurt and felt useless, but believe me you have purpose and you never need to do this again.”  
There was silence for a moment and Josh was worried he had done something wrong. He felt the guilt eat him up as Sam pulled her arm away from him, and he hated himself for hurting her yet again. 

But then he felt her lips on his. Delicate, testing the water, looking for some response that this was the right thing to do. 

And as all the pressure kept in his mind drifted away Josh realised that this was definitely the right thing to do. 

His hand went to her waist, pulling her closer to him as they softly kissed. Her hand went to the back of his neck, holding him in the kiss he didn’t want to ever end. 

As their lips parted he kept his hand wrapped on round her slender waist and gently rested his forehead against hers. They stared at each other, waiting for the silence to be broken but at the same time completely at ease with the quiet.

“I…” Josh stuttered, earning a knowing smile from Sam. 

“You too” She replied, knowing exactly what he had wanted to say. 

_…I love you._


	2. Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly, Sam and Josh adjust to normal life even when someone or something is constantly trying to throw them off balance.

Sam began to stay at the Washington household more than her own. Her house made her feel lost and out of control and a week after her rekindling with Josh a call from the local hospital had him running to her side. She’d overdosed on her medication and pain killers and wanted no one but him near her. Her family were constantly asking her about what happened, always bringing up the memories she didn’t want to think of and belittling her illness, telling her she was just using it for attention. 

When Josh made it to her bedside in her ward she burst into tears and sobbing that she was so sorry. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, she hadn’t meant to do it, but she kept hearing the screams of the wendigoes and the image of Hannah’s mutated figure. With all that clouding her mind all she wanted to do was to end it all, Josh was a fleeting thought, and she couldn’t apologise enough for causing him so much pain when he was going through more horrors than she could ever imagine. 

He stayed by her side for two days in the hospital and then another two weeks in the rehabilitation centre before they deemed her no longer a suicide risk and could go back into the world. Josh had already taken all of stuff to his house, an invitation of safety that Sam desperately needed. They were safe in this house, no one could hurt them when they were together. 

***

“The first trailer for Wendigo came out.” Sam murmured, looking up from her laptop at Josh who was reading on his bed. 

Josh grimaced and walked over to the desk where she sat. He wrapped an arm loosely around her shoulder as she clicked play on the video. 

It was a short clip, only forty seconds long, but it was filled with the darks of the mines and random flashes of fire and screams. There wasn’t much of the characters in it, only Cara Delevingne and Alex Pettyfer who would be playing the now famous couple that was Jess and Mike; but then the end shot came.

Sam gasped as she saw it, reaching up and grasping Josh’s hand as she heard a small sound escape his throat. The picture was a medical picture from when Josh was first recovered from the mines. His eyes burned deep into the camera and his face was covered with blood and dirt. His cheeks were hollow from the starvation and there was the sharp teeth causing his mouth to bleed as they began to grow through his gums. It was demonic, terrifying, and barely looked like the handsome boy that Josh had once been.

“Josh,” Sam whispered as she felt his hand leave hers and he slumped to the floor and began to shake. “Josh, I’m here, it’ll be okay.”

“How?” Josh wept, his voice breaking as he spoke. 

“I don’t know.” Sam replied as she crouched down next to him and softly brushed her fingers along his cheeks to wipe away the river of tears. 

She comforted him as he cried and shook. How could his own father betray him in such a way? He took his pictures and exploited his trauma to make more money. It was sick, twisted, and Sam finally understood why Josh had reached out to all his old friends again. His parents didn’t care for him, the effort they put into making him well again was nothing more than a front for him to be ‘healthy’ enough for them to make more money. Josh had no one but the ones he turned against him, and only Sam was the one with enough heart to forgive him. How she had turned to loving him, Josh didn’t know, but all he knew was he needed her more than he ever could have imagined. 

“I don’t even remember them taking that photo.” Josh whimpered, his voice barely audible from the tight ball he had curled into on the floor. 

“It wasn’t you.” Sam replied softly, “It was the demon inside you, you know that Josh.”

He slowly uncurled himself and crawled towards the bed. He pulled the blanket off it and wrapped it around his suddenly pale body. He felt sick. He wanted to stop existing but as Sam crouched in front of him and pressed her soft lips against his forehead he knew he had a purpose to stay. 

He grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him, holding her slender body tight as he shivered and let himself cry. 

“How can we live when they do this to us?” He eventually chocked out.

He looked up into Sam’s saddened eyes, seeing how much this hurt her as well as him. His eyes were bloodshot and his face wet as Sam let her tears drip from her eyes. 

“Because we have each other.” She replied as she held him tight. 

***

They woke the next morning curled on the floor of Josh’s bedroom. Sometime during the night the pillows had been pulled to the floor too and they had fallen to sleep holding each other whilst the tears ran freely. Sam’s throat felt dry, and she quickly got a glass of water for herself and Josh as she knew he would feel as bad. His eyes were still red when she roused him and the skin around his eyes was puffy and dark, a contrast to his unusually pale complex and hollow cheeks. 

“Here,” Sam said as she handed him the drink. 

He took it, drinking enough but leaving some for Sam who quickly finished the remaining liquid. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked as she refilled the cup in his en suite bathroom and took their pills from the medicine cabinet. 

He quickly took the small handful of tablets, handing Sam the water so she could do the same. “I’m good, surprisingly.” 

Sam grinned as he said this, he hadn’t replied with that since before his sisters’ disappearance. “What changed so suddenly?”

Josh stood, wrapped his hands around her wrists and led her towards his bed. They slumped onto it, Sam falling back lazily as she always did and dragged the smiling boy down with her. 

“I have you now.” Josh replied, leaning towards the blonde and kissing her deeply. It had been almost a month since their first kiss and since then it had been nothing more than delicate kisses and hugs that felt like they lasted for centuries. This was the first time there had been a fire in their romance, and it was quickly causing Sam’s head to buzz.

Josh slipped his tongue along Sam’s bottom lip and she gasped slightly, and the kissing became more passionate and breathy. Josh nipped at Sam’s lips playfully, giggling lightly as she pulled him on top of her. One hand went to her hair and the other to her hip as he began trailing kisses down her neck, occasionally mouthing and biting at the pale skin. 

“Josh,” She moaned breathily as his hand tangled in her hair and pulled it gently. She pushed up against him, causing Josh’s brain to bleep dead for a moment before erupting into a light show like he’d never experienced before. 

Sam wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even closer to her and slowly grinding against him. She reached to him and began pulling his shirt up but Josh suddenly jumped back, pulling his shirt back down and hiding his body from view. 

“I’m so sorry, Josh. I didn’t mean to push you too far.” Sam quickly said, pulling her knees up to her chin and looking at the quilt rather than at Josh’s face. 

“No, I started this.” He replied, running his hands through his hair and tugging at the strands. The little bit of pain that came from it was enough to pull him back to reality and stop him from spiralling down. It was the control he needed to move back towards Sam and stroke her blonde hair to comfort her. 

“I’m sorry I freaked out, I just don’t know how you’d react to…” he drew off and began playing with the edge of his shirt. 

Sam looked at him sympathetically, reaching up and gently turning his head to face her. “Whatever is wrong, I will be here for you. Take your time. We’re not like any other couple and we both know that it’ll take time to be at that level of intimacy.”

Josh sighed in relief and rested his head against his girlfriend’s shoulder. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” She replied with a smile in her voice, “Let’s go have breakfast, okay?”

“Okay.”


	3. Miles Away

It was ten o’clock when they heard a car drive up the stone drive and park near the front door to the house. The pair were sat eating breakfast reluctantly; both had not quite got back into eating full meals yet and so their meals tended to be moving the food around on a plate and hoping to make it disappear. 

Josh shot a concerned look to Sam who sat opposite to him at the table. She reached across and squeezed his hand gently. She knew he wouldn’t want to see either of his parents right now and she could see the strength he gained from their month of being together dwindling away as the footsteps neared the door to the kitchen where they sat. 

The door swung open and in walked Melinda Washington, Josh’s mother. 

She stopped as she saw them, as if she forgot that she had a child left. 

“Josh… Sam, I didn’t expect to see you.” Melinda said. 

Without looking up from his plate of half-eaten food Josh replied, “I do live her, mother.”

She smiled weakly, and walked towards the pair. “Of course you do.” Melinda reached out to touch Josh’s shoulder but he flinched away.

Melinda sighed, and looked at Sam as if for some form of reassurance from the girl. Sam kept her eyes trained towards Josh, her hand still wrapped around Josh’s which was starting to hurt from how hard Josh was squeezing it. She ignored it though, he was scared and she would endure a world of pain for him to feel safe again.

“You know, you can’t keep this up, Josh.” Melinda tone had changed to annoyance quickly, and she turned her back towards the pair and stomped towards the door. “I’m off to Spain for a few weeks for business. My plane leaves in three hours, I’m only here to pick up some stuff.” 

With that statement she slammed the door shut and the tap of her kitten heels could be heard stomping towards her bedroom at the opposite side of the house. 

Josh released the breath he had been holding since she tried to touch him, his mind dizzy and his lungs burning. He released Sam’s hand, suddenly aware of how he’d been gripping onto her. 

“I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean to. I was just…”

“Scared, I know.” Sam finished for him, nodding her head in agreement. “I was too.”

She stood and began clearing up their plates, ruffling Josh’s hair as she passed him to reach the bin where she scraped in the remainders of their breakfast. 

“It’s not right.” She heard Josh murmur from the table where he had slumped down to rest his head in his folded arms.

***

After the experience with his mother Josh had decided it was time he moved out. He was almost twenty one now and Sam twenty, they were old enough to live on their own. They began packing as soon as his mother’s car disappeared from the drive. 

“Where will we go?” Sam asked, as she sat on the suitcase so Josh could fasten it shut. 

“We have a flat in Montreal.” Josh replied as he sat down in front of Sam and brushed a stray hair out of her eyes. “I can transfer our medical records so everything will be okay and we won’t have to worry about withdrawal symptoms or anything else for that matter.”

Sam was about to ask about how they would get money but then she realised how stupid that sounded. Josh’s bank account had two commas in it and he merely lived of the interest of his parent’s money. They would be absolutely fine, as long as they stayed away from society as much as possible. Sam had done well to keep her face out of the papers but after the horror of a movie trailer there was no way Josh would be unknown. 

“I’ve booked us a hotel near the airport until our plane leaves in two days. It was the only flight I could find which would let us have a separate check in so were not harassed.” Josh continued. 

Sam leant towards him and placed a small kiss on his cheek. “Everything will be good when we get there. Maybe a city will do us good after being around so much nature for so long.” 

Josh smiled in response and pushed the memories of the mountains to the back of his mind. He never wanted to see a mine again and would be much happier in the flatter land of Montreal. Let the mountains be distant, and maybe the trauma would be too. 

***

The taxi arrived a few hours later and took the couple to the hotel where they slept for most of the days until it was time for them to leave. They dressed in dark clothes with hoods and sunglasses, quickly moving through the crowds to depart Alberta and head into a new city and hopefully a new life. High above the clouds the pair felt calm. This was such a contrast to the insides of a mountain, it was airy and free despite being inside a relatively cramped aeroplane. Sam watched the blue of the skies contrast with the white of the clouds and let the bright light of the sun come through the window and warm her face. 

“Maybe we should try South America next.” She said with a sigh. “The sun would be good for us.” 

Josh kissed the top of her head. “Egypt would be better. Revisit my family heritage.”

Sam grinned in response and gave a happy murmur to agree. “Egypt next.”

There was a knock on the couple’s compartment as the air hostess accidently bumped the food cart against it. “Sorr…” She began before drawing to a stop, a look of fear appearing on her face.

“It’s okay.” Sam quickly interjected, smiling politely at the woman in a hope to remind her that she was a professional and should not be staring. 

“I don’t feel comfortable with him here.” She suddenly stated loudly. Her words sent a shiver down Josh’s spine as he looked towards the ground and began scratching at the skin on the back of his hand. 

Sam swallowed the fear rising in her throat, she really did not want to cause an outburst on a plane, and replied in a surprisingly calm tone. “We have as much right to be here as anyone else.” 

“A murderer doesn't!” 

The low sound of talking suddenly became silence as all the other passengers turned to stare at the ruckus beginning. Josh blinked rapidly, trying to clear the tears that threatened to fall and the voices rising in his head. 

“He never hurt anyone.” Sam responded as she stood and ushered Josh to sit by the window seat instead of her. Her voice wavered as her throat tightened and she held onto Josh’s hand. A way to keep herself grounded but also to stop Josh’s self-harm which she knew wouldn't help minimise the self-loathing he was feeling. 

“Is there a problem?” A male voice cut in. 

A tall man had rose from his seat and stood near the airhostess, watching her carefully as if expecting a vicious outburst. 

“Not at all, Sir.” She quickly responded and turned tail, pulling the food cart to the front of the plane and behind the curtain separating the crew and the passengers. 

The anonymous man turned to face the rest of the passengers still staring at Sam and Josh, walking in front of their compartment to try and block the nosey viewers. “Any other issues?” 

The passengers quickly turned away, the man’s voice demanded obedience despite not rising above an indoor level. He crouched down to be at eye level where Josh curled in the window seat and Sam returned to her seat, breath suddenly rapid. “I’m ever so sorry about their rudeness. My name is Jacob. Jacob Harper.”

“Why did you do that?” Josh muttered, his head still looking downwards. “She’s right.”

Sam squeezed his hand, “No, she wasn’t and you know that.” 

The man sighed, “The media hasn’t been the kindest to you and your father hasn’t helped at all really.” 

Josh glanced up at these words, “You know my father?” 

“I’m a journalist; I’m afraid most of us do too well.” 

Sam, suddenly defensive turned so she was blocking Jacobs’s view of Josh. “We don’t want to speak to any journalists. Please, just leave us be.”

Jacob smiled softly at her, an attempt to show he meant no harm. “I don’t want to write a story on you, don’t worry. I already know all there is to know about your twos notorious reputation.”

“Us two?” Sam inquired.

“You’ve been in the papers too Sam. You’re a gorgeous girl and apparently people don’t value doctor/patient confidentiality as much as they should. People are claiming your relationship is nothing more than Stockholm syndrome.”

Sam slumped in her seat. Her stomach felt like it had plummeted to the ground miles below them. She loved Josh with all she could muster from her broken being, and knowing that the media were using her as well made her feel sick. She was a laughing stock, and poor Josh was seen as a torturer, a murderer, when he hadn’t been anything of the sort. The boy who played the sick game on the mountain was not him. He was not the light hearted, handsome, funny boy who was able to keep a smile on his face and his friends close despite the mental illnesses that plagued the corners of his mind. His illness had overcome him, turning into someone he wasn’t and Sam knew more than anyone that he never meant to hurt anyone. 

“Why are you telling us this?” Sam jumped slightly at the sound of Josh’s voice. The news shared by the journalist had brought Josh to his senses and he took to protecting the girl he loved so dearly. 

“I just want to prepare you for the worst. You were probably safer back in those mountains than in a big city like Montreal. The way that woman acted and that movie are just the tip of the iceberg.” Jacob handed a business card to Josh. “But if you do ever want to share your story I am here. Not all journalists are bad.” 

Josh nodded slowly as Jacob rose and left to return to his seat. Josh pocketed the card and brought his hand to Sam’s chin, tilting her head up to face him. He kissed her gently, and he felt her smile against his lips. 

“Maybe Egypt would have been better.” 

Josh shared a sad smile with his girlfriend. “Don’t worry, we can do this.”


End file.
